Sooo... before I tell you why I'm feeling -10 sparkly today and all kinds of grouchy, the sweet and lovely Ashley Nixon threw a bunch of questions at me over the weekend about writerly stuff and such, so head on over there if you care to know what my writing space looks like (yes, there's a picture! And if you look closely, maybe you'll spot Ryan the Zombunny.) And heavens no, I wasn't grouchy because of this interview. Boy, wasn't that a terrible preface (sorry, Ashley! You know I love yah!)

If you still care to know what ruffled my feathers, come back over here when you're done. I can wait.

By Debbie Ridpath Ohi

You're back? You're that curious, huh. I may end up disappointing you. Just a warning.

Alright, here it is: my iPhone is busted.

It still works, yeah, but the screen has these spidery webbing all over it. I know it's Halloween and all, but I prefer my spider webs to be fake, synthetic stuff I can stick on the bushes outside, not this cracked iPhone glass. :(

So I was walking my little girl to school when this family with a dog came up behind us. Their dog was making some weird huffing sound, which freaked out my daughter. She started running, tripped on the curb, and fell down. When I hurried to help her up, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and the hard cement was no way merciful. Screen totally ruined. Curse ye, weird sounding dog!

Okay, okay, I know it's not the dog's fault. Or anyone's, really. But see, my daughter is terrified of dogs because of a traumatic experience. We were at the playground once, and I think she was only 4 at that time, when this little puppy started chasing her, nipping and barking at her heels. The poor girl shrieked and screamed, and ran in circles, while the dog owners stood and watched and LAUGHED, thinking it was cute and funny.

It was neither cute nor funny. I, of course, rescued her but the damage was already done.

See now, before any of you dog owners get mad at me, hear this: I had a dog growing up. I'm no dog hater, by any means, but one thing I know is that NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOVE YOUR PET AS MUCH AS YOU DO. (Yes, I LOVED my dog but I was considerate of others.) So please, when you're in a public area, KEEP THEM ON A LEASH. And for goodness sake, pick up after them. We seriously had a neighbor once who let their dog use OUR FRONT YARD as their PERSONAL BATHROOM. Those turds are not gonna pick themselves up, FYI. Their dog was doing its business while we were pulling out of our driveaway, and I totally saw the guy just watched and did nothing. NOTHING!

Oh the horror! 

Ahem. I'm okay now. Still bemoaning my phone but that's life. I hope the rest of you are having a wonderful, sparkly, trauma-free day.

<3 

As you may (or may not) have noticed, my blogging has been all over the place lately. :D And now that it's October, which is one month closer to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), it's not going to get any normal.

BUT!

Life is a lot more fun when it's unpredictable, right? Right? Oh okay, not for you guys who crave routines. ;D

So. I FINISHED writing my first draft of HIDDEN. Mind you, this is probably the 4th start-from-scratch-again revision draft, so it's not exactly my first ever novel to finish. Just the one I am satisfied...FOR NOW. For lo and behold, just when you think you've finally written fin or the end or booyah! at the end of your manuscript, and you're finally stuffing yourself with cupcakes in celebration of your GREAT accomplishment, the doorbell rings and the red pen is at your doorstep saying, "Hello, how may I EDIT you?"

If you are smart (like me), you'd slam the door on its face and say, "Not today, buddy! Come back in a couple of weeks."

And then you go back to your happy dancing and cupcake eating, and never mind the red pen eyeing you balefully from outside the kitchen window. You'd better celebrate now because once the two weeks are up, YO! NO CUPCAKES FOR YOU AND YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET SLASHER-CRAZY AND WIELD A HATCHET BECAUSE YOUR FIRST DRAFT WILL BE NEEDING SOME MAJOR SURGERY!

Ahem. It's one of the truths in the universe, unfortunately. No first rough draft turns out to magically be a bestseller. It's just not happenin', dude. Okay? EDITING is part of the process. No shortcuts, no way around it. So tell me, since I need my head back on pretty soon-- HOW DO YOU EDIT YOUR MS?

Please share 'cause I need ideas that are not as torturous as what I'm planning to do with my beloved manuscript. On Wednesday, I'll share with you my process and a few linkages to awesome editing advice. 

While you're here, enjoy this Monday Funny to start off your week right!

By Debbie Ridpath Ohi Sigh. How I wish...

Hello Monday!

Chapter 7 of the Round Robin Blogvel is up at Kacimari's Hey Now. If you want to follow along, check out the other chapters in the Table of Contents section.

I found the (worst most brilliant funniest) analogies written in a high school essay while surfing the net last week. I'm posting a few of my personal favorites. To see the rest, check out When Bad Writing Becomes Funny compiled by Macarray.

Enjoy!

"She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again."
--Rich Murphy, Fairfax Station


"McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup."
--Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring


"Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."
--Chuck Smith, Woodbridge


Have a great day, everyone!

Hello Monday!

Before I forget, check out Chapter 5 of the Skeleton Key Round Robin Blogvel, brought to you by Creativity Rebellion.

And now...fireworks!

Photo By bayasaa

Aren't they pretty? They look like flowers. Happy Fourth of July, everyone! May you enjoy this day with your family, friends, and fellow Americans.

Here's the funny for today:

By Debbie Ridpath Ohi

Hello Monday!

I hope you all had a nice Father's Day weekend. To all you daddies out there, THANK YOU.

By InaFrenzy

The Skeleton Key Round Robin Blogvel continues with Chapter 4 by E.M. Delaney. As of writing this post, the chapter is not up yet so I will update this later. UPDATE: Apparently, our Chapter 4 writer is MIA at the moment.

Check out the other chapters: Skeleton Key table of contents.

And now, enjoy the funny!

By Debbie Ridpath Ohi

Hello Monday!

The "Skeleton Key" Round Robin Blogvel continues with Chapter 3 by Stephanie of Word by Word. This blogvel keeps getting more and more interesting as it passes from author to author. If you haven't been following and want to start at the beginning, Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 are already up. So go check 'em out!

I've been scouring the web for news, contests, and workshops that you might be interested in. Here are some of my finds:

>Win Sara Gran's CLAIRE DEWITT AND THE CITY OF THE DEAD by joining Agent Janet Reid's first summer writing contest. Deets here. (This one is closing TODAY at 7:18 pm EST so hurry!)

>Michelle Simkins of Greenwoman is running a contest. The prize? A short story crit from her (she's the master of writing short fiction IMHO) so head on over and find out what you have to do to win.

> First 5 Pages Workshop (every first Saturday of the month) @ Adventures in Children's Publishing.

> First Page Shooter @ Confessions from Suite 500 (run by Agents Joanna Stampfel-Volpe and Suzie Townsend)

> First Page Critique Contest by fellow blogger Robin Weeks (she's celebrating for hitting 100 blog followers! Come join the fun and follow her cool savvy blog--you won't regret it.)

> Synopsis Critique by Chuck Sambuchino @ Guide to Literary Agents. This is cutting it close but I just barely saw this. He is teaching a webinar on June 16th, but you don't have to attend the live webinar to get crits. Just click on the link to get the full details. =)

>The Speculative Fiction group at Agent Query Connect has already started their Summer Critiquing Marathon. It runs for 12 weeks (this is the second week now), and anyone can join it at anytime, as long as you follow the rules. Chapter posting goes up every Monday, and critiquing goes from Tuesday to Saturday. You have to be a member of the Spec Fic group to participate (send a PM to Clippership, the Spec Fic moderator). The rules are easy: read other people's chapters and provide adequate feedback (no "Hey, this is great. End of critique.") then vote whether you think the chapter is good enough or if it needs revision before the author posts the next chapter. Remember, it's a give-and-take relationship, and if you want in, you have to be committed to read all the other participants' chapters. It's a lot of work, but the feedback you get is worth it.

If you have news you'd like to share, please do so. We'd all appreciate it. Thanks.

Aaaaand, here's a funny for you to enjoy!



By Debbie Ridpath Ohi



Hello Monday!

Wow, good to know we're all still here. I hope everyone had an enjoyable weekend despite rumors of doomsday and the so-called rapture. ")

First things first--because I know you've been waiting for this while hunkering down in your fortified bunker-style basements for two days--we have WINNERS!

Dundundundun...(drumroll)

For the First Chapter Critique: Rachel McClellan

For the $15 iTunes giftcard: Sarah Fine

Congratulations! Email me at writercherie [at] gmail [dot] com to claim your prize. Thanks to everyone who participated. I had fun reading what made you happy. Apparently, family/kids/baby toes ranked topmost being listed 9 times by participants. Here is the breakdown:

Writing/Ideas/Agent Requests: 8        Reading/Good books: 4
Good friends: 5                                Being comfy: 5
Hot cocoa: 5                                    Food/Drinks: 5
Pets: 3                                             Weather (sunshine/rainy days): 3
Movies: 4                                        "Me" time: 2
Disneyland: 1
Personal goals (such as getting a job, getting toned, not moving): 3
Watching people fall down: 1

Er, I won't bother interpreting those data stats. I think they speak for themselves. ;)

Before we get on to the funny for today, I have a quick desperate plea favor request announcement: My good friend Michelle aka Green Woman is hosting a Round Robin Blogvel, and we'd like to urge bribe invite you to join us in what could be a potentially fun (if it's not disastrous) writing blogvel.

If you're like me and you went glassy-eyed at blogvel, here are the details from Michelle's own blog:

Here’s how it works:

• I will write chapter one and post it on my blog.
• Someone else will write chapter two, based on my beginning, and post it on his or her blog.
• Someone else will write the next chapter, based on developments in previous chapters, and post it on his or her blog.
• Repeat until everyone has had a turn.
• I will write the concluding chapter and post it on my blog, UNLESS someone else feels a burning desire to do so.
• Each person who posts a chapter will include a link to the FIRST chapter (for newcomers who want to start reading at the beginning), a link to the PREVIOUS chapter, and a link to the blog where the NEXT chapter will go up, to make it easier for readers to follow the whole story.
• I will post a link to the latest chapter on my blog every week, OR I will make a Round Robin Blogvel PAGE and update it weekly.
• Chapters will go up on the same day every week. Probably Monday.
• The more authors who participate, the longer our blogvel will be.

I think it’ll be a great way for writers to meet other writers, and for readers to find more awesome blogs they didn’t know about. Also I think it will be very fun.
So here are the RULES:

• You can write in your own style, and you can make just about anything happen. The only thing I ask is that what you write flows naturally from what came before. A hypothetical example: If Mary Sue has always been kind to animals throughout previous chapters, and you decide she is going to throw stones at a puppy in your chapter, you MUST provide a believable motivation for the sudden change. Like, you know, demon possession, or being under a spell. Or maybe a killer puppy.
• Please keep chapters to 2,000 words or less
• Please be sure you can do it if you sign up. It will be more difficult for everyone (but especially me) if you flake out.
• Post your blog entry on MONDAY the week your chapter is scheduled. Email me a link to your chapter at michelle [dot] simkins [at] gmail [dot] com.

Now you are asking, “How do I join in on this fantastic adventure?” Lucky for you, no dwarves or wizards need mar the green paint on your door to issue an invitation. All you have to do is email me at michelle [dot] simkins [at] gmail [dot] com. When you send your email:

• put “Round Robin Blogvel” in the SUBJECT line.
• include a link to your blog
• let me know if you want to write a chapter at the beginning, middle, or end of the blogvel. OBVIOUSLY if you start at the beginning, you will be writing your chapter sooner. If you go middle or end, you are at the mercy of the plot twists of all authors who came before you.
• Get your email to me by midnight on Monday, May 23.
• Please email me even if you already said you were in on Twitter or AQConnect. I need your contact info, blog link, and your beginning, middle, end preference.

After sign-ups close, I will take all of the author’s requests and assign chapter numbers to everyone. I imagine there will be a certain amount of shuffling and tweaking that has to be done. So, allowing another week for that, I believe that chapter one of this endeavor will be posted on Monday, May 30. That is, however, a TENTATIVE start date and could change depending on the number of participants. And on how fussy they are.

*************

I hope you'll consider joining us. Be warned though: we're a wacky group, but in a really, really good way. If you've seen us on Twitter, you'll know. Right, Michelle?  ")

Have a fantabulous Monday everyone! Here's a funny for you to enjoy....

BY Debbie Ridpath Ohi

                           

Hello Monday! Today I'm participating in the Laughter is the Best Medicine Blogfest hosted by two amazing bloggers Lydia Kang at The Word is My Oyster, and Leigh T. Moore at That's Write.

Here's one for laughs. Enjoy!


When someone comes to you with a memoir, make sure you double-check their credentials....


By Debbie Ridpath Ohi


Come join in the fun and laughter. You can check out the other funnies by going here:





Hello Monday!

I am feelin' the LOVE.

What a great way to start the week, eh? Two blog awards from my fabulous blogging friends. I feel so honored, really I do. First off, we present the snazzy Stylish Blogger Award, presented to me by the equally snazzy and rockstar-in-disguise Caitlin Vincent of Musings of an Ordinary Mind. She does not have an ordinary mind, by the way. She just likes to make you believe that she does. (Ha! Right, Caitlin? You and your purple zebra-striped gloves. *wink*) Check out how stylish this thing is:

Ooh, it twinkles!

This shiny thing comes with rules. But before I get there, let me turn your eyes towards this simply delightful and scrumptious looking thing awarded to me by the ever lovely Ashley Nixon of Ashley Nixon. (Yes, her blog is named after her.)

Yum! Hey, no touching! This one's all mine, all mine! Bwahahaha! (Sorry, I haven't had breakfast yet.)

Miss Ashley is as sweet and pretty as the strawberries above. She's also a brainiac (Gates Millenium Scholar, whoa!), loves history, and has a boyfriend who looks like Aladdin! So check her blog out, if you haven't already done so.

Thank you, Caitlin and Ashley! You guys are super nice to me. =)

So. Rules. Here they are:

1. Thank and link to the person who nominated me.
2. Share seven random facts about myself. (The magic number 7)
3. Pass the award along to 5 new-found blogging buddies. (This is for the Stylish Blogger Award)
4. Pass the award to 15 blogging friends. (This is for the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award)
5. Contact the winners to congratulate them.

My Seven Random Things:

#1 I once got my picture taken with figure skater Rachael Flatt. She is the 2010 U.S. National Figure Skating Champion, the 2008 World Junior Figure Skating Champion, and the 2008 and 2009 U.S. Ladies Silver Medalist. She performed at a local show and fell down twice! But, I still like her. =)

Unfortunately, I'm unable to find that photo of me and Miss Flatt, so I'll just leave you with this:

Source

#2 I am allergic to cigarette smoke. It gives me hives and triggers my asthma. One time, we were checking in at a hotel and our room was supposed to be non-smoking. I walked in, smelled the faint trace of smoke, broke out in hives, and started coughing. We were immediately moved to a different, nicer room.

#3 I can sing and dance to The Wiggles, The Imagination Movers, and the Yo Gabba Gabba Gang. But I refuse to sing and dance to Barney--I have nothing against the guy. Really.

Source

#4 I once took hula classes and got an A. Though if you were to ask me to dance the hula now, I will absolutely refuse, even if you were to pay me a million bucks. Okay, maybe I will. ;D

#5 I don't drink any alcohol. At all. I can't even stand drinking soda all the time. Except for maybe when I was pregnant with my first child, and because I couldn't have Coke, I desperately craved it. (No, I did not give in. I'm happy to say I channeled my soda craving to McDonald's double cheeseburgers. Not good for the thighs, I know, or my cholesterol, but safer for baby.)

#6 I wanted to be STORM of the X-Men comics when I was a kid.

Source

#7 I used to watch anime shows. One of my favorites is Naruto, a quirky, orphaned Ninja boy who's a sort of an outcast in his village because of a demon, the Nine-tailed Fox, sealed inside him. Despite his blunders and comical antics, he has a big heart and will do anything to help his friends, even at the cost of his own life. (I don't watch it anymore, btw. Too busy.)




Alright. Now that you're all acquainted with my own quirks, it is time to pass on the awards to these amazing bloggers I admire. Here are the nominees for the Stylish Blogger Award (hold your breath, people):

T.S. Welti

Ashley Nixon

Dierdra Coppel

Rebecca Dupree

Jen


And the nominees for the Irresistibly Sweet Blogger Award are (drum roll, please):

Caitlin Vincent

Anita Grace Howard

Bethany

Angela V. Cook

Sophie Li

Jeana

Ashley Graham

Jenny Phresh

Huntress

Jemi Fraser

EEV

Joyce Alton

Sarah

Carissa Elg

Shawna

Congrats, blogger friends!

I also had fun making my own blog award (inspired by my creative buddies Anita and Jenny Phresh, who made their own snazzy awards to give to people). I call it the Cool Blogger Award. Check it out:




This is my sort of Jack-in-the-box award. I'll spring it on you when you least expect it. Uh-huh. So watch out, stay cool, and maybe you'll find Ms. Butterfly flitting your way. For my first ever blog award giveaway, I give it to my super cool friend Lori M. Lee of You Are the Unicorn of My Dreams. That's right, Lori! This one's for you for being fantastic. Enjoy it!

What? You're asking for rules? Erm...you tell me one cool thing about yourself, and then you do a surprise attack on another blogger to present them this award. Sounds good enough? Okay, moving on....

As promised, here's the Monday funny. Sorry for this extremely long blogpost. We might as well end it in a good humorous note.



By Debbie Ridpath Ohi


P.S. To claim your award, right-click on the pic and do Save As. To display award on your blog, go to Design, click on Add Gadget, scroll down to Picture, and upload the award pic. Voila! You now have blog bling for extra pizzazz!

Hello Monday!

I got up bright and early today, despite my reputation as a reluctant week starter. Why? you ask. It's May and the sun is shining, hooray! Well, that and the fact that my bestest blogger friend Anita at A Still and Quiet Madness has graciously and generously handed me my third award (I'm really feeling the love these days, folks! Thank you so much!).

It's so lovely, I'm afraid to touch it. Thank you, Anita!

She's giving out more awards over at her blog (I told you she was generous), and I'm happy to see some familiar names given recognition for their efforts.

When I started blogging a month ago--it's my blog's monthsary--I was a newborn babe flailing around in the world of bloggingdom. I remember my fingers getting clammy at the keyboard, my stomach twisting in complicated pretzel knots, and the fear that I would become another dead blog in cyberspace because really, who'd take interest in an unpubbed writer deigning to proclaim herself a writer in the first place when she has nothing to show for it...yet?

But I made friends and quickly inundated myself with all things blog-worthy, such as learning what HTML codes are and don't ever forget to save your template if you're attempting to change your layout.... I found that being myself, in all my incompetent and so-far-from-perfect glory, is okay. That people can like me for who I truly am inside.

One month, 50 followers, 3 blog awards, and friends I'll keep forever--these are my stats and they're AWESOME! I'm happy I took the plunge that April Fool's Day (thought I was fooling myself. Tehee.) Thank you for helping me feel so welcomed.

And now, as it is Monday after all, here is the funny for today. To all my friends/followers, cheers!  *passing out cookies*

By Debbie Ridpath Ohi

Hello Monday!

I have family here for a visit, so no tête-à-tête from me today. I hope you all have a great Monday, and here's a funny for you to enjoy.

You know how we're always told to use proper punctuation? Here's why:


Punctuation Parable

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria  

by thefranksterk

Hello Monday!

Would you believe it is Monday and Rainy outside? Now I can crank up the old jukebox and sing Rainy Days and Mondays by The Carpenters. (How many times do you think I can keep referring to this song before you all want me to shut up?)

I know I've said before I'm not a fan of Mondays because I'm a lazy week starter. But. Today is the beginning of Spring Break! I am looking forward to getting a lot of writing done, sleeping in, foregoing early morning showers, staying up extra late, and goofing around with the kids.

And, hello rain! Just another excuse for me to procrastinate running my weekly errands. Which means, I can hunker down in my cozy basement and write, write, write. *happy dance*

Speaking of writing, here's a funny about writing rules. Enjoy!

How to Write Good



Photo by Bill Gracey

Hello Monday!

I must confess, I'm a reluctant, would-rather-stay-in-bed, week starter. I deplore Mondays. I groan, I ache, I slap myself awake while the song "Rainy Days and Mondays" by The Carpenters play incessantly in the back of my brain. (The Carpenters? I'm so dating myself here. I'm not that old folks--my mom was just a big fan. *grin*) And yeah, while it's not actually raining outside right now, there is snow on the ground.

It's April, for crying out loud.

*taking deep breaths...

Alright, so I say to myself: Monday Funnies. Why not start the week with a laugh, a smile, a toothy grin? Anything to get me out of the funk and start moving.

So here it is. Enjoy.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."


A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."