I've been tagged! So many times I feel like a fish hooked, reeled in, released to the waves, only to be hooked again. But the taggers are my best buds so I don't complain...though I came close to listing their names under the meme Q: If you could push a person off a cliff and get away with it, who would it be?

Okay, I tease. I'm not capable of pushing anybody off cliffs 'cause heights make my hands clammy.

I've been procrastinating doing these memes (there are THREE versions! Holy Batman goodness! I'm glad the rookieriter and marewolf did not tag me for their own wacky versions. I might have a seizure.) I mean, who comes up with these questions? Seriously. It reminds me of those little *autograph notebooks they used to pass around my class in grade school. No? You've never heard of those? Ahhh, I feel for your deprivation of puberty-induced-maniacal-QandA's. It's like that Confidential Sex Questionnaire in Sixteen Candles, only for younger minds and less sexual. (Yes! I watched Sixteen Candles. Finally. After much jabbing and threats to be booty-kicked off SOMEONE'S underpaid fan club.)

Anyway, I thought I'd be fine, ya know. I mean, how hard can it be to answer a few kooky questions, right? WRONG! 'Cause the PARTY PONY decided to shake things up and invent her own just-as-maniacal meme.

So now, here I am, wilting under the heat and PRESSURE to come up with answers. Do you really, REALLY want to know when was the last time I ate CHICKEN MEAT? (That was one of the meme Q's.) If you do, well, it was last night. I marinated some chicken breasts, grilled them, dashed teriyaki sauce and served it alongside white rice, cucumber salad, and creamy spicy cole slaw.

Oh, pfftshaw! Look what you made me do! Hooked again.

Okay, I better get started on this or else I'll never see tomorrow. Warning: Mishmash of memes coming right up.

1. Are you a HOT rutabaga? Describe yourself in two words.

Yes! HOT Rutabaga. (FYI, in my past life, I was once a lowly salamander. Then I got an upgrade!)

2. When was the last time you ate lion meat?

Um, during the last full moon. You may have seen me dashed past your house since I sparkle in the moonlight.You thought you were dreaming, but no. Oh no. *licks lips*

*sparklyvegetarianvampire*
*coughTwilightcough*

3. Upload a heartwarming picture that makes you smile.



4. What songs would be playing when you go back in time to beat the crap out of someone, and who, may I ask, would be this someone unfortunate enough to be in your time traveling dimensional line?

Don't know if there's such a thing as a time-travel dimensional line, but I would totally kick Jujyfruit Assbat for harassing Jenny Phresh, and Brendan Tankersly for calling Mary Frame "four-eyes". Also, I think I would hunt down the klepto who stole my weekly allowance in high school, depriving me of the opportunity to indulge in Snickers bars while cramming for my exams. You know who you are! (You better know who you are, 'cause I don't.) And the songs playing would be:

"Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves (just the chorus line for when I get hold of them)
"Rock On" by Def Leppard (for when I'm kicking their sorry butts)
"Thank You" by Dido (for when I'm wiping my hands on my jeans and walking away)
*fade music as I exit*

5. Name one habit you want to change in yourself because it makes people plot your demise.

Wha..?!? Don't you know I'm perfect? [ <---That. Right. There. LOL!]

6. How many goats, stacked atop one another like Yertle's Turtles, would it take to reach the moon?

Only one. If you have Mr. Tumnus pictured above, you'll be soaring toward the moon.

7. Describe the people who tagged you in obscure Latin words.

Carissa Elg = Lorem Ipsum Rockeruslady
Anita Howard = Lorem Ipsum Sweetascakey
Michelle Simkins = Lorem Ipsum Queenushashtagus
A.M. Supinger = Lorem Ipsum Dreamusgal
Dean C. Rich = Lorem Ipsum Coolesdude
Jenny Phresh = Lorem Ipsum Insanitus Manicgoatnum

8. Where da muffin top at?

I gave it to this woman: (the one in blue with the pretty eyes and arched eyebrow.)



9. Do you have nicknames?

After this post, I think I would garner a few more. To date, I've been dubbed the following:

Sneaky McSparklyPants or was it Sparkly McSneakyPants
Goat Girl
Goddess of Bumpits
Sparkly Vegetarian Vampire

This is Twitter's fault, my friend. I assure you I'm quite sane in real life. Sometimes. Mwahahaha!

10. What the fudge were you thinking as you were doing this?

My mother reads my blog.

Tag as many people as you want. (Oh, yeah, so I can pass on the craziness.)

#1 Mandie Baxter
#2 Eli Ashpence
#3 Jennie Bennett
#4 Sean Thomas Fisher
#5 Kalen O'Donnell

Pick a funky nickname for #1: Er...SheWhoRocksTheGlasses?? Yeah, Mandie, you do look cute in your glasses. I think my brain is spent and I can't think of a funky appropriate nickname. Be glad for it. :D

Write a rhyme for #2: Eli Ashpence, you
                                 Rock the world, too.
                                 I don't know what would
                                 Rhyme with Ashpence, could
                                 you say that I stink,
                                 and not waste more ink?

Leave a lovey-dovey message for #3: Jennie, you wonderful girl, you! My heart thrums with anticipation whenever I see in my Google Reader that you have a blogpost up. ;)

Where would #4 hide in the event of an apocalypse? Um, I think you'll find Sean out in the cornfields armed with Woolite as he waits for the zombies to show up.

#5 dreams about... dancing in the moonlight. He is sparkly, like me. ;)


Owowow...my brain hurts. That was one seriously loooong meme. If you my lovely taggees want the semi-sane version of these memes, click here. Otherwise, go crazy!

Addendum:
*autograph notebooks: No, they're not like those ones at DisneyWorld where you try to track down the elusive Disney characters and have them sign their names on a notebook that costs half-a-day wage for the lowly worker. And when did chipmunks learn how to write? Is there chipmunk school for critters (who are bigger and taller than yourself, may I ask?) I digress. These autograh notebooks smell like week-old car air fresheners, with flowery stationery paper, and have scintillating questions such as: Who is your crush? Who is your best friend? Leave a message for the notebook owner. Attach a photo of yourself if you're so inclined. Blah, blah, blah.