I think it's safe to assume that most writers write and rewrite their opening chapters a lot more times than they'd ever spent on the middle and end part of the novel. Because really, if you can't get your readers interested in the first chapter, you can't get them to reach the awesome climax and ending you have in store for them. Lots of pressure, right?

So, how do YOU start your novel?

Here's a list of no-no's I've heard from agents and other writers:

1. Don't start with your character waking up. Or being woken up by the sound of the alarm clock going off. Or being woken up from a nightmare--which really goes to #2.

2. Don't start with a dream. Or a nightmare. If your aim is to hook the reader with a heart-stopping scene, and then wake up the character just as he was about to be eaten by a *Sasquatch or whatever...let me just tell you the truth right now: You're going to piss off your reader.

3. Don'st start with a boring scene where nothing happens to your character. If it's a day-to-day scene: A is getting ready for school, A eats breakfast, A drives to school, A goes to her first class, etc. Why would we read about your character's routine? We've already got normal, boring routines going on in our own lives, and we don't need to pay $$ to read about it.

4. Don't start with the weather. Seriously. You're not one of those people who sidles up to an acquaintance during a dinner party and goes, "Hey, what do you think of the snow outside?", are you?

5. Don't start with a high-action-packed scene where the character's world is already being blown apart, and said character is facing likely odds of being mincemeat if he doesn't run away from Sasquatch... I mean, c'mon, give your readers a chance to KNOW your characters and CARE about them, before putting them all in jeopardy. If we don't care, we'd be perfectly content to let Sasquatch get his dinner on page one.

*Sasquatch probably doesn't eat people. Or maybe he does. I don't know. *shrugs*

What other no-no's can you think of? Also, I want to say that some authors have broken above rules and have managed to succeed. They're masters, ok? They can do it. You and I, however, we gotta work our butts off to make a novel worthy to be read by all. And if it means following a few rules, so be it.

Ever heard of the Bulwer-Lytton literary parody contest? It's a yearly contest looking for fake and real worst opening paragraphs to novels. Here are a few "winners" for deliberately terrible sentences (taken from www.innocentenglish.com):

When she sashayed across the room, her breasts swayed like two house trailers passing on a windy bridge.

--Stan Higley
 Fairport, NY

The goose waddled slowly, heavily, across the road, exactly the way my mother-in-law would if she were a goose.

--Mary Montiel
Wichita, KS

Kathy, who had bound her breasts and cropped her hair, and lied about her gender to join a monastery of Jesuits in northern Kentucky, until she was discovered one night in the shower, winced as the dentist pulled her tooth.

--Terry Johnson
Tularosa, NM

First off, I apologize if I didn't get to a lot of your blogs yesterday. My Internet was verrrrry spotty, something to do with my Wi-Fi router going bonkers, but as I'm not tech-savvy it was rather like wrestling a gorilla for a measly banana. Not worth it. So I gave up and did productive things instead, like buying groceries (lots of bananas!) and cleaning the house. Someone's got to do it, right?

Anyway, (I'm totally jumping in without transitions here) how well-versed are you in literary devices? Do you even know what they are? Here's a quick rundown to refresh your college-day memories.

• ALLEGORY: A visible symbol representing an abstract idea. It's also generally an extension of a metaphor. For instance, the grim reaper is a symbol of death, and everyone knows it. So if you have this:

From Wikimedia Commons

           
           You immediately know and understand that the skeleton with the scythe is really death coming for the man in the picture. (And not just a zombified skeleton who looks like he's asking the man for a dance, or telling him to cut the super long grass in his backyard. Er...)

• ALLITERATION: The use of the same consonant at the beginning of each stressed syllable in a line of verse.

          E.g. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

• ALLUSION: Passing reference or indirect mention; Also, a reference to a famous person or even in life or literature.
• ANALOGY: Drawing a comparison in order to show a similarity in some respect.
• ASSONANCE: The repetition of similar vowels in the stressed syllables of successive words. Mostly used in verse, not prose.

         E.g. the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain (Edgar Allan Poe, "The Raven")

• CLIMAX: The decisive moment in a novel or play; it represents the point of greatest tension in the work.
• FORESHADOWING: The act of providing vague advance indications; hints of what is to come in an action of a play or story.
• HYPERBOLE: Extravagant exaggeration.

          My kids are experts when it comes to hyperboles:
          When told to clean up his toys: "Mom! It's gonna take me forever and ever!"
          When told to pick up her backpack from the floor: "It's so heavy, my arm's gonna fall off!"
          When they're eager to go outside and play, but Mom says to wait for her: "Mom, you're taking bajillion years!"

• METAPHOR: A figure of speech in which an expression is used to refer to something that it does not literally denote in order to suggest a similarity.
• ONOMATOPEIA: Using words that imitate the sound they denote.

          Ah, I love this! I like words that sound exactly what they'd sound like in real life. For instance, CRUNCH. You can hear it, can't you? Or how about ZIP when you're pulling on the zipper. ZIIIIIIP!

• OXYMORON: Conjoining contradictory terms. Another excellent example of how we can play with our words!

        E.g. jumbo shrimp
               clearly confused
               constant variable
               defeaning silence
               act naturally

• PERSONIFICATION: The act of attributing human characteristics to abstract ideas, etc.
• PUN: A humorous play on words.
• SIMILE: A figure of speech that expresses a resemblance between things of different kinds (usually formed with "like" or "as").

Okay, class dismissed!

Here we are again with another post on Dialogue. We've tackled topics such as using comma splices in dialogue, using plain "said", and speaker attribution. This post talks about characterization, and while it seems like a no-brainer, I'd like to go ahead and discuss it anyway. =)

Characterization is defined as the process of conveying information about characters in narrative or dramatic works of art or everyday conversation. (Wikipedia)

So. How do we use characterization in dialogue?

The simple answer would be this: We write dialogue like the way our characters talk. For instance, we can't have a homeless man speak like the CEO of some big company. I'm pretty sure Mr. Hobo would not use words like "extrapolate" or "ramifications" in his conversations with the Taco vendor.

But you already know that, right? Pfft, you say. This is nothing. Well, I say, good to know we're in the same page here.

Now, let's take another look at this from another angle. Consider this passage:

    "Hang the boy, can't I never learn anything? Ain't he played me tricks enough like that for me to be looking out for him by this time? But old fools is the biggest fools there is. Can't learn an old dog new tricks, as the saying is. But my goodness, he never plays them alike, two days, and how is a body to know what's coming? He 'pears to know just how long he can torment me before I get my dander up, and he knows if he can make out to put me off for a minute or make me laugh, it's all down again and I can't hit him a lick. I ain't doing my duty by that boy, and that's the Lord's truth, goodness knows. Spare the rod and spile the child, as the Good Book says..."

(Aunt Polly in Mark Twain's The Adventures of Tom Sawyer) 

Slang and Dialect. Do we really need to utilize slang and dialect so we can SHOW what kind of a person our character is?

There's a great article by Todd Eastman found here on using slang and accents when writing fictional dialogue. He pointed out the following things to look for:

1. Be careful not to suggest racism. Be aware when you are using stereotypes.
2. If you're going to use regional speech patterns and accents, do it accurately and consistently.
3. When done correctly, using speech patterns and accents can be effective in fleshing out your character's voice.
4. Make it sound authentic. Tip: Listen to a speaker who comes from whatever background it is you're studying.
5. Consider terminology (or jargon) and use them appropriately.

I have a character in my WIP who talks in a folksy way. It's who she is and you can tell a lot (characterization) just by her dialogue. I've gotten feedback--both positive and negative--on this: One critiquer didn't care for this character's dialogue (and the character herself). She said my folksy lady was annoying and her conversations tiring. In my mind, I was thinking BINGO! I got it right! Because this woman IS indeed annoying--she likes to gossip, she goes off on tangents, and she is a talker. Mind you, she's only a minor character so I didn't feel the need to give her a make-over just because she annoyed one reader.

Another critiquer actually loved my annoying folksy lady. She told me she loves how my characters don't sound all alike. Their dialogue and conversations convey their individual voices. As you can see, there are differing opinions on this topic.

I'm pretty sure the days of Mark Twain's dialogue and writing dialect the way they sound (like spile and 'pear, for instance) are long gone. I know we had a discussion about this over at the old Agent Query Connect site, and there was a vehement, and quite unanimous vote on scratching slang and dialect altogether. Personally, I don't mind it when there's a little bit mixed in. When not overdone, or overused, it does give us readers a sense of a character's personality even when we're not told what or who they are.

What do you think? What's your take on this? Or is it so faux pas you're turning your nose up at me for even asking such a ridiculous question? ;)

By the way, here's an example of my annoying folksy lady's dialogue:

“You folks look like you came from the big city. Are you a kin of the Reverend? Nah, you can’t be. All his family got them big noses. You girls are pretty as lilies. My name’s Martha, by the way. But everyone calls me Mrs. Macey. You want to hear about the specials?” 

Big difference, actually. And it's not because one has an 'm' while the other sports an 'n'. LOL.

EM DASH: is roughly the size of an 'm', and sometimes called a double hyphen (--). It is used to indicate an added emphasis, interruption, or abrupt change of thought. It is also used (sparingly, I hope) to replace colons, semicolons, commas, and parentheses.

e.g. I like you—really like you—for being a good friend. [added emphasis]

      She dashed off to go to the party—but wait, she forgot her purse. [interruption]

      "I know, but—" The baron picked up his gloves. "—this plan of yours is sure to fail."  [interruption]

      I wish you would—oh, never mind. [abrupt change of thought]

In most Word documents, you can create an em dash by making a double hyphen (--) and pressing ENTER. Word automatically converts it for you. Also, there are no spaces in between the word prior to the em dash, and the word after it.

THIS: party—but
NOT: party — but

Em dashes also precede quotation attributions.

e.g. A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit.
      —Richard Bach
    

EN DASH: is traditionally half the size of the em dash, or is roughly the size of an 'n'. It is technically wider than a hyphen (-). They're used to:

1. Connect a range (such as numbers).

e.g. 1–10
       pp. 35–40

Non-numerical range:

e.g. January–December

2.To contrast values, or illustrate a relationship between two things.

e.g. Father–daughter event
      Boston–Hartford route

3. When combining open compounds:

e.g. a high school–college conference
     

These are the simple definitions—we could probably get even more technical and discuss other aspects of the em dashes and en dashes, but unless you're writing formally, these will do.

You can find more about this topic here and here and here. Also, I found a wonderful blogpost by M.E. Summer of Sticking to the Story about hyphens. Check it out here.

Questions? Comments? Any info you'd like to share? Please use the comment section. Thanks!

I've decided to place all posts on writing mechanics under one place. So now you can find them in the page entitled Writing 101. It's under PAGES. Just right there--->

I'm the kind of gal who likes to make things easy. Simplify--one of my favorite words. When you are writing, editing, or exchanging crits with others, sometimes it is hard to process the feedback we get. Someone says, "Do this!", while others may say, "No, do this instead." From the comments I got from my previous post on Dialogue Mechanics and the "Said" Debate, one writer mentioned how she came across a blog/site telling writers to use creative writing tags, and even listed them as a writing resource. Yes, shocking I know. So what's a new writer to do when we're constantly bombarded with writing advices?

Three things: Read well-written published books, keep on writing, and listen to your gut.

Since "listening to your gut" doesn't come as easily for others, this is where I can help you. I give simplified advice based on my own experience as a writer and a reader.

So. Dialogue and Speaker Attribution. Since we're all about simplifying, I'm going to list the things we need to remember when attributing dialogue to a speaker:

1. Don't start a paragraph of dialogue with speaker attribution.

e.g. Mary said, "I don't know. I thought she was coming home with you."

Do this instead:

"I don't know," Mary said. "I thought she was coming home with you."

Why? Our goal here is to keep the speaker attributions transparent for smooth transitions between dialogue lines and the speaker. The reader gets to focus on the dialogue and at the same time know who's saying it, without getting pulled out of the story.

2. Place the character's name or pronoun first in a speaker attribution.

David said NOT said David

He said NOT said he.

3. Be consistent with how you refer to a character and stick with it for at least the length of a scene.

Consider this example:
       "I've lived here my whole life," said Martha. She handed him a beer can.
       "Is that so?"
       "Yes," said Mrs. Macey. "I've seen things happen around this neighborhood. Some pleasant, some not. I could tell you stories but I rather not."

(A page later...)
       "You reckon I should stay and give it a try?" he asked, standing up to leave.
       "If you want to keep your head straight, you better not," said the old woman.

"Martha", "Mrs. Macey", and the "old woman"--they're the same character. If you keep switching names in a scene, you'll end up confusing your reader. However, it doesn't mean that you are only allowed one form of address for your entire novel. If the viewpoint changes for one of your characters, say, the man in the example above gets to know Martha Macey more intimately and later on calls her by her first name or a nickname, then that's okay. Remember, we are talking about the length of a scene here.

4. Use beats to replace "said" or a dialogue tag, especially if you have three or more speakers.

Consider this:
e.g. "Let's go to the mall," Jessie said.
      "I'm tired of the mall. Why can't we do something else for a change?" May said.
      "Like what?" Ryan said.

The "said" is no longer transparent here. But if we use beats, we can break the said monotony:

      "Let's go to the mall," Jessie said.
      May crossed her arms. "I'm tired of the mall. Why can't we do something else for a change?
      "Like what?" Ryan said.

5. You can dispense with speaker attributions if it's clear from the dialogue who is speaking. BUT do not overdo it. You can break it up with beats if you need to, especially if it's long.

Ping-Pong dialogue:

"I just can't believe you said that to him!"
"Well I did. And I'm not sorry for it."
"I know he's a jerk and he probably deserved it, but that was harsh."

Breaking it up with a beat:

"I just can't believe you said that to him!"
Rachel plopped on the sofa. "Well I did. And I'm not sorry for it."
"I know he's a jerk and he probably deserved it, but that was harsh."

Questions? Comments? Rants? Feel free to discuss.

Reference: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King (pp. 91-93)

P.S. I've just realized I have reached a 100 (and 1) followers. Hooray! A milestone worth celebrating for. So. I was thinking last night, wouldn't it be great to have a little contest to show my appreciation for these wonderful folks who stumbled their way here and probably didn't know what they signed up for? Hehehe. 

Tune in tomorrow for the details. It's nothing grand or pompous. But there will be prize/s...hopefully something worth your time. =) 

Back in Agent Query Connect, I once posted about ten common writing mistakes spell check doesn't catch for you. The original article came from Yahoo Shine and you can see it here.  If you don't want to click on the link, here's the lowdown, plus a few more that I've seen in some writing:

You may laugh at this and think you're not that stupid, but trust me, even the best of us fall victim to our blind trust in spell check.

1. ITS versus IT'S

IT'S, with the apostrophe, is a contraction of "It is". ITS refers to possession.
e.g. It's a nice day today. (It is a nice day today.)
      The fairy spread its wings.

2. SALES versus SAILS

3. AFFECT versus EFFECT

This is misused more often than not. Affect is a verb, as in: The weather affected her mood today. Though there would be others who'd say Affect can be a noun, such as in psychiatry when it is defined as: A feeling or subjective experience accompanying a thought or action or occurring in response to a stimulus.

Unless you're writing a thesis on Psychology/Psychiatry, Affect stands as a verb and means to have an effect upon; to act physically on.

Effect is usually a noun, defined as a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon; an outward appearance; an impression (especially one that is artificial or contrived); or the central meaning or theme of a speech or literary work.

e.g. The effects of the drug were hallucinogenic.
       The magnetic effect was greater when the rod was lengthwise.
       His shouting and drunken revelry were all for effect.
      
Effect can also be a verb, meaning to produce, or to act so as to bring into existence.

e.g. Her valiant recycling efforts effected a change in their lifestyle.

If you arm yourself with their proper definitions, you won't confuse the two ever again.

4. WOULD HAVE not WOULD OF

Because WOULD HAVE gets shortened to WOULD'VE at times, people mistake this as WOULD OF (probably because they sound the same). WOULD OF is never correct, and unless you want to be seen as illiterate, do not use it ever.

5. THROUGH versus THREW

Again with the homophone. Two very different words sounding the same. Always double-check.

6. THEN versus THAN

You know this, right? You've got to know the difference between the two. THAN refers to a comparison, while THEN refers to a subsequent event.

7. SUPPOSED TO not SUPPOSE TO

8. WONDER versus WANDER

9. THEIR versus THEY'RE versus THERE

I see this a lot. Sometimes it stems from honest typos, sometimes from carelessness. Proofread your work. THEY'RE is a contraction for THEY ARE. THEIR is possessive. THERE refers to distance.

10. FARTHER versus FURTHER

FARTHER is physical distance. e.g. Farther down the road...

FURTHER is metaphorical distance. e.g. He went further in his efforts to win her affection.

11. HERE and HEAR

Blame it on homophones.

12. WERE and WE'RE

WE'RE is a contraction of WE ARE.

WERE is a 'to be' verb. (ARE/WERE)


What other errors do you find yourself stumbling on occasion?

I've been reviewing my trusty guide Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King. *If you're a writer and you don't have a copy, go. Get. One. Now. You won't regret it.* I'm a multi-tasker (aren't all moms?) so I was reading on Dialogue while looking up Proper Punctuation Usage in the web. My internal editor has been kicking in lately and I just have to get these things out of the way before I resume writing.

Last year, a very competent  writer friend (I respect her command of grammar) pointed out to me my use of comma splices in dialogue.

*Comma Splice: the use of a comma to join two independent clauses where the clauses are not connected by a conjunction, semicolon, or period. Example:

              I have a monkey, he likes to play with me.

By the rules of proper punctuation, this should be:

             -with a semicolon:   I have a monkey; he likes to play with me.
             -with a period:         I have a monkey. He likes to play with me.
             -with a conjunction: I have a monkey and he likes to play with me.

(I really don't have a monkey, in case you're wondering, but my Grandpa did when he was alive. Needless to say, he was a super cool grandpa.)

Okay, now that we've established that, let's look at what Self-Editing has to say about making Dialogue less formal and less stilted (pp.101-102):

********
                Another helpful technique is to use sentence fragments. Consider this exchange:

                "Is she pregnant?"
                "It doesn't matter whether she is or not. She's not going to marry him."

                 It sounds much less formal--and more like real speech--if you edit it to read:

                "Is she pregnant?"
                "Doesn't matter whether she is or not, she's not going to marry him."

                In the second exchange, the writer has used another technique (in addition to the sentence fragment) to good effect: the two sentences in the answer to the question are strung together with a comma instead of the (grammatically correct) period. If not overused, this technique captures the rhythms of real speech remarkably well.
*******

I think the key here is in the last sentence of above passage: If not OVERUSED. Grammarians will still balk at seeing comma splices in dialogues, but for us lesser beings, this is good enough proof that it can be acceptable. As long as we don't overuse it.

As with all things in life, aim for balance. Listen to your gut. Keep yourself true to the voice of your story. 

Happy writing!

P.S. If you have any questions, enlightenments, disagreements, and rantings about above topics, please feel free to comment below. I'll try to answer as best as I can (armed with Google, Strunk and White, and Self-Editing for Fiction Writers).