Lo! It's the Query Cat!

The Saturday Slash is a free query critique offered by my fabulous and talented writer friend, Mindy McGinnis a.k.a. Bigblackcat97 (for those following her on Twitter) a.k.a. BBC (as she is more fondly called on Agent Query Connect). I think I may have mentioned this here before.

But! I'm mentioning it again because I volunteered to have my query go under her hatchet.

Yep. Today. No kidding. My query is in the hands of the hatchet-wielding Query Cat. If you'd like to take a peek, or give me your 2 cents, or simply see if I've made a fool of myself, go here.

And while you're there, you should follow Mindy because she's fun and hilarious, and an all-around awesome person. Plus, her debut NOT A DROP TO DRINK is slated to come out Fall 2013 by Katherine Tegen/Harper Collins. Squeeness! Besides, her blog Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire is full of great info, agent interviews, author interviews, and random thoughts that could only come from a YA librarian with the best Angelina Jolie pout I've ever seen. :D

As I have mentioned many moons ago (heh. I was trying to see if I can squeeze "many moons" in one of my blog posts. Seems like today is the day!), I've finally entered the world of queries. If you've never queried before, and if you've seen other writers bemoaning the state of their query, you've probably thought to yourself, Come on, it can't be that hard.

Reality check: It IS hard.

So I'll share with you some tips to keep yourself sane.

1. Have a handy snack nearby.

Okay, I'm pregnant so I ALWAYS have a snack nearby. But you'll need it, too. You will spend HOURS staring at the screen, vacillating between including the word "that" or the adverb "mysteriously", and hey, should I include my protagonist's pet dog who was there fighting off the alien-monster-werewolf-hybrid attacking the city?

2. Start by laying down the answers to these questions:

WHO is your protagonist?
WHAT does he/she want?
WHAT/WHO is getting in their way of obtaining their goal?

The answers may not reveal you your hook line necessarily, but they will give you an idea of where the focus of your query should be. And it should ALWAYS be on your protagonist. Not the pet dog, no matter how adorable he is.

3. The less character names and places, the better.

If you start giving us the cast of characters  right away, we WILL get confused.

Annah and Brock have been best friends for a long time, until Annah's sister Michelle, starts dating Brock. Tensions rise between the siblings. Even Sparky, Annah's trusty pet dog, senses the discord. But when an alien-monster-werewolf-hybrid mysteriously appears one night, Annah may have to push aside her resentment, and aid her sister and her best friend in fending off the unwanted visitor. As the alien-monster-werewolf-hybrid lashes havoc on their city, despite Sparky's valiant efforts to protect the sisters, Annah and Brock are separated from Michelle...

I could go on and on with this fake query, but really, it's so convoluted I'm getting a migraine. Time for a snack...

4. NO rhetorical questions. EVER.

What would you do if the fate of the world rests on your shoulders?

Agent: Erm...yikes. *cringes* Employs form rejection button.

5. Make sure to PROOFREAD for typos and grammatical errors. Then have someone else take a look at it.

And finally, when you are ready to send:

~Don't send out a mass email to the agents you are querying.

~Don't address the letter as such:
      To Whom It May Concern:
       Dear Agent,

~In other words, know who you are querying and address them by their names.

~Research. Most of the time, I see literary agents tweet about passing on a query because they don't rep the genre. Only query those who represent the genre of your novel. Please. If you do, you're saving the agent's time, and helping out all of the other writers who are following submission guidelines properly.

~FOLLOW submission guidelines. This should be a no-brainer. Most agencies have their own website. You can also check AgentQuery.com or QueryTracker.net for more info on a particular agent.

~Be polite. Always. If you get rejected, don't respond by emailing the agent back with rage and
mindless threats. It's not personal. Just take a deep breath, and move forward.

~Be professional. This is a business, after all.

~And be very, very patient. Getting responses can take a loooong time (sometimes, you don't ever get a response.)
Good luck!