Yeah, it's fun to daydream sometimes. And it's fun to think you'll be as cool as a cucumber when your inbox shows you've got mail. Especially when the email starts with: "I am pleased to tell you..." You're not going to run waddle down the stairs in your pajamas, doing a silent squee because everyone else in the family is still asleep, and pump your arms in the air ala Rocky Balboa style. An imaginary crowd roars cheers in your ears (really, it was only the blood rushing to your head, but who cares, right? It sounded like a cheer.)

No, you'll be an uber cool dude, and no one--I say, NO ONE--is going to find you doing a cross between the chicken dance and Elaine's dance because you are such a professional.

Ahem.

What? You want stats? I don't do stats, but I'll try my best.

I started querying around the end of March--which was very poor timing on my part. People were just coming back from the Bologna Book Fair. I sent out a few queries (like 3) and waited, and waited, and waited. It was also the earliest version of my query. Fast forward to a couple of weeks later, I decided to send out a few more with a newly revamped query. And the waiting continued.

Lesson #1: Be patient.

Rejections finally came in.  *sting* But as they were based on my query, it didn't hurt too much. I knew I needed to work on it. Enter Agent Query Connect and its awesome band of writers. I had all my query versions numbered in a file. My first full request came, and I thought I was going to faint. I was so nervous I messed up the page numbers in my file submission and had to re-send a new email with the corrections. *facepalm*

Lesson #2: Learn to calm down. Double check everything. Don't be hasty.

For most of April, I sent out intermittent queries. At the same time, I worked on my query, even asking BBC's Query Cat to do a Saturday Slash on my query. I stayed up late writing query drafts. I dreamed about writing queries. Also zombies. And a handful of vampires (no, they weren't sparkly). I also had to deal with a lot of medical stuff and lab tests. It wasn't the best of time for me. Did I feel slightly down while the crickets in my inbox created an orchestra to rival the New York Philharmonic?

Yes, yes I did. But I kept on going.

Lesson #3: Don't give up easily. Hope is a beautiful thing.

I've been following numerous literary agents on Twitter, even those I had no plan of querying (just because I already knew they weren't a good fit for me, personality-wise, or that they did not represent my genre). I followed them anyway because it's always good to get oneself educated about the publishing biz.

Ms. Fabulous Agent was on Twitter giving out #querytips, #writingtips, and #pubtips. They were helpful tips, and sometimes downright hilarious (the most recent one is from a sample where the author likened a pancake to a coffin. :D). I stalked checked out her website. She sounded wonderful. I held off querying because I wanted to make sure my query would stand a chance of being noticed.

Lesson #4: Trust your writerly instincts.

May 3rd.

I sent off my latest query to Miss Fabulous Agent, and one other (also a lovely agent). Then with fingers and toes crossed, I set off for my 7-month prenatal appointment. While waiting in the lobby, I checked my email (confession: Having an iPhone is both a curse and a blessing. I will not tell you how many times I check my email every day, but you can probably guess it's a good substantial number.)

She said my query intrigued her.

She said she wanted to see the first 50 pages.

I wanted to go home and send it off right away, but I needed to see my doctor first. And take a nasty glucose drink to test for gestational diabetes. Which meant more waiting at the clinic. My palms began itching.

The minute I got home, I sent off my partial with a little prayer. (Apparently, I forgot lesson #2. I was THAT excited.)

May 4th.

I woke up extra early, and nearly fell off the bed when I checked my email on my phone and found out Ms. Fabulous Agent read my partial first thing in the morning. And she wanted to see the rest of the manuscript. Holy moly. She was lightning fast. The crickets in my inbox must have developed laryngitis or something. I couldn't believe it.

I sent her my full, and prepped myself for a long wait. In the meantime, I got another full request from a different agent. I decided to send out a few more queries.

Lesson #5: Query widely. Just do. If I had stuck to my list, I would never have found and queried Ms. Fabulous Agent.

May 8th.

She. Loved. It. All of it. My book Hidden. Loved.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe I did both.

May 9th.

I sent out notices to the other agents I have queried or had my full submissions that I had an offer of representation. I could have signed with Ms. Fabulous Agent right then and there (I liked her THAT much), but I had to be courteous. Six other full requests invaded my inbox. I was stupefied. I gave them 10 days to get back to me.

May 19th.

Possibly the longest ten days of my life. Some of them came back with high compliments and very positive feedback, some missed the deadline. I then informed Ms. Fabulous Agent I wanted to sign with her. I don't think I slept very well that night--I was too hyper. :)

May 20th.

She emailed me the Agency Agreement for my preview. I was in a complete daze. And I truly adore her.

Yay!

You must follow her on Twitter: @jawlitagent. You won't regret it. She's made of awesome, and I'm so glad she's my agent. *happy sigh* Not only does she handle everything so professionally, but she has an impressive educational background and work experience. Plus, did I already mention that she LOVES my book? My dream agent has always been someone who would be as passionate about my work as I am. And I have found her.

Now excuse me while I go dance party celebrate. I'm still in a daze but it's slowly sinking in. Finally.

:D

If you haven't seen me around the blogosphere, blame it on the QUERY. Such a simple word, and to someone who doesn't write, it simply means a question, or an inquiry. But if you present this word to a writer, expect this:

Photo by hang_in_there

 Or this:

Photo by surlygirl

Or maybe just something like this:

Photo by libertygrace0

Luckily for me, I have my writer friends to keep me sane. And AGENT QUERY CONNECT. Seriously, you need a query critique? Get thee to their forum, now! And don't forget to pay it forward by helping others with their query. We all know that good karma is highly useful in the querying business...well, it's not to guarantee you an agent request, but to get good, constructive feedback from other writers.

Also, the fabulous and pouty-lipped Mindy McGinnis or BBC or bigblackcat97 or... (I swear this woman has a lot of names!) of Writer, Writer, Pants on Fire has a regular Saturday Slash  where she grapples with your query and chops it down with a hatchet. Minus the blood and gore.

And then of course, there's Query Shark. But only go there if you have guts. Sharks like guts, right? (Alright, bad pun.)

Good luck with your querying endeavors, my good people! I'll just be right over here, tinkering with my own query. Ciao!

So here's a story:

A newbie writer finishes her first draft. She is happy, ecstatic, over the moon, etc., and immediately attempts her very first query letter. It goes something like this--

        Dear Agent,

        My [WORK TITLE] is a [GENRE], complete at 120,000 words...


Yep. That was a true story, my friend. That clueless, achingly naive newbie was none other than yours truly. 120,000 words and no, it wasn't historical. Holy MASSIVE FAIL indeed!

But the good news is, I wasn't a complete dork. After researching and googling Query letter/How to write a query letter (see, I thought it was the content of my query that was garnering no's), I stumbled upon an awesome site that has changed my life since: Agent Query and Agent Query Connect.

Everything you need to know as a writer is there. AQConnect also has an amazing community of writers--from the pros and agented, the adorable shmucks hanging out while waiting to get their ink-and-paper dreams come true, down to the wide-eyed newbies searching for the light.

So when I first landed there (in a highly-disoriented state no less), I quickly learned three important things:

1. 120,000 words is asking for a lobotomy.  My genre being YA, I exceeded their word count limit by more than a mile.

Agent Jessica Faust from BookEnds, LLC has an excellent guideline on word count here. YA (Young Adult) is usually between 50,000 to 75,000, though 80,000 is acceptable and a safe bet (providing that your ms is squeaky clean of unnecessary words). I was 40,000 off the mark. I bet the five agents I queried took one look at the first line and hit the instant REJECT button.

Yep, they've been known to do that.

2. Chop off those darlings, baby! There will always be words, phrases, descriptions that'll tickle our writerly brain and make us beam yeah, I wrote that beautiful mishmash of words. Grab a marker, preferably red, and slash, slash, slash! (Ooh, blood and gore).

Adverbs
Excessive and overly colorful adjectives
Passive writing
Metaphors that don't work/Metaphors that are out of place
Cliches

I'm sure there are more no-nos to add to the list, but this is a good start. As with every weight loss regimen, *exercising and cutting out the unnecessaries will help you trim down your ms.

*By exercising, I'm referring to writing exercises, prompts, and even reading a published book to hone your writing skills.

And lastly,

3. That writing doesn't have to be a solitary endeavor. Thanks to all my friends at AQ for letting me be a part of their community.

Now, it's time for the other weight loss regimen--the kind I can't chop off with a red marker. On to the treadmill!