My Entry for The Writer's Voice: HIDDEN

So there's this thing called The Writer's Voice, which everyone I know seems to be doing. (Deets here if you want to know more.) And lucky me, I got in! So here's my entry for HIDDEN, my YA Contemporary Fantasy novel. Hope you'll like it!

UPDATE: Just wanna say THANKS to all who left me lovely comments! I'm no longer in the running for the contest, so I had to take down my query and first 250 words. Good luck to those who are moving on to the next level! :)


Stephanie said...

Yay! I love the query + first 250 words. I'd keep reading. :)

Mia K Rose said...

Always makes me smile when I see my name used for stories/etc. I grew up without ever seeing it, and now there is a Mia explosion ;).

Sending good luck your way. :)

Kimberly said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog.:)

Your story sounds great. Good luck to you too!

C. Issy said...

That is a fantastic first line. And a great 250 and concept (love the family twist idea) Good luck, fellow Voice-er!

Elizabeth Prats said...

Love this! Thanks for stopping by my blog--also you've got a seriously kickass query and story--lotsa luck! Definitely curious about the local hottie and his kissing abilities... ;)

GSB said...

Hey! Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting! :) I just read your query and first 250 and they are AWESOME!!! Good luck!!! :D

Angela V. Cook said...

Woo-hoo!! Well done! :o) Good luck with the contest!

Brenda McKenna said...

Soul-sucking shadow-witch? That rocks! And your query is a blend of funny and creepy, which is one of my favorite things! Strong work!

SC Author said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I remember seeing this query too :) I love the first sentence of your 250. Good luck!

Zoƫ said...

love that opening query line and the touch of humour, good luck!

Anonymous said...

Beautifully written and evocative! Loved it!!

Durango Writer said...

Love that opening line. This is a strong entry.

Carolyn Abiad said...

Shadow witches sound really interesting. Best of luck to you too!

The Golden Eagle said...

I love the first line. Hidden sounds like a great story! :)

Kelly Metz said...

Great query and interesting start. Good luck!

Jamie Grey said...

This is great - the writing is so smooth I lost myself in the story right away and desperately wanted to read more! And the concept sounds really cool. Good luck with this!

Brandi M. Lynch said...

This sounds amazing! Good luck!

Brandi #199

aberthot said...

Oh, my goodness - I am SO into this already. Your writing is BEAUTIFUL! I would read this book (and am actually kinda jealous of its awesomeness). :)

Good luck!

Andrea #32

erica m. chapman said...

Gorgeous writing and a great query!! Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Good luck Cherie! Love all the AQC peeps in the contest and I love your story. -April, #61

T.L. Bodine said...

This looks excellent :D Good luck!

Amalia T. said...

Sounds exciting! the "Again" in the opening of your query is a great hook, I thought!

Cherie Larkins said...

Thank you so much for the lovely comments, everyone! :)

Huntress said...

Fantastic first page! Wow. Love your voice.

Sarah Wedgbrow said...

Lots of great elements woven into this concept, and the excerpt is really smooth. Nicely done!

Matthew MacNish said...

Hi Cherie. So glad to see you made it onto the list! Best of luck in the contest.

MarcyKate said...

Love this, Cherie! A couple things could be tightened in the query, especially in the beginning, but overall the creepy-cool effect is great. And love the voice in the first page!!! GOOD LUCK :D

Carrie-Anne said...

Good luck on the contest! I really like your concept.

Anonymous said...

The voice in that query is fantastic, and the opening excerpt just sweeps me right up in it. I love it!

Cheryl said...

Good luck!!!!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

C.G.Ayling said...

"My mother hasn’t looked me in the eye since we left the grave to trudge back to the car." by itself an easily accepted sentence. But... added to the opening line of the novel, which revelas that is a year and an hour ago, turns it into a tragic plea.
Great opening. Good luck.

Jemi Fraser said...

I already thought the concept was great - now I'm loving the intro! Great job :)

Kimberly Gabriel said...

Excellent query and first 250! Your opening lines of both were very strong. Great voice. Good luck as the contest continues! Thanks also for stopping by my blog! WVC #28

T. Drecker said...

OOooo.. this sounds neat! Witches... and the opening line is great. Plus, I've always liked the name Layla :)

Good luck!

Amy Kinzer said...

Best of luck Cheri, I love your opening.

I'm ritrgrl over on QT if you ever see me around over there.

Amy (105)

RaeChell said...

I have to agree with everyone else. The first line of the quesry is great. Good luck!

Nicole Zoltack said...

Love your query. Good luck!

~Nicole, entry 68

Jacky Gray said...

Hi Cherie,
I was all prepared to eulogise after reading the 1st 250 - poor Layla's obsrvation's of the minutiae of grief really tugged at my heart strings. But then in the synopsis, you had to go and have a wicked witch. When will people (apart from Charmed and Wicked) realise that there are way more good witches out than bad ones? Sorry to bang my personal drum in your space, but with all the terrific Wiccan sites out there, I was beginning to think that witches had lost that stigma.
One day! Until then, guess I'll just rub some eye-of-newt into my warty, hooked nose and grin and bear it!
Apart from that, some cool ideas.
Best of luck
Jacky (#130)

Cherie Larkins said...

Thanks for the comments, lovely people!

@Jacky Gray: Haha! No, the shadow-witch is not a Wiccan witch. She's not even human. I only used the word 'witch' to label the sorcery/dark magick this creature uses--and as it is in Layla's POV, she doesn't know what to call the creature but a witch. :D

Jenny Morris said...

This is a great query and your first 250 completely sucked me in.

Good Luck!!!

Angie Sandro said...

Ooh, so good. Love the query and first 250! Love ya! Good luck.

Lisa K. said...

Fantastic query! Good luck to you!

Summer Heacock said...

This was really good! I would absolutely keep reading this! I love the voice of your lead a lot!

Good luck in the contest!

Summer - #40

Lydia Kang said...

Great query and great opening paras!

Carrie Butler said...

I love the phrase "kumbaya-inducing meds". :D Best of luck!

Bethany C. said...

STILL love this story!!!

Anonymous said...

Your voice REALLY comes through in this. Nice!

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