Excerpt from my WIP "Hidden"

My main character is a 16-year-old girl diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and psychotic depression after her father's death.

Here's an excerpt from Chapter 3:

When did it start? When did I break? The memory doesn’t come to me.
Sometimes there are gaps where I don’t remember things. Like, how did my father die? I only know he died in my arms. Was it my fault? Did I hurt him? No, I wouldn’t ever do anything to harm him. He was my best friend. He was my everything.
My shrink, Dr. Peterson, once told me I have repressed memories. When trauma hits, our brains try to protect us by forgetting.
I don’t want to forget my Dad. I want to gather all the pieces, all the chunks of time and moments we spent together, and cradle them in my arms. His recipe for the perfect pot roast, the smell of popcorn and leather when we stayed up late watching the Star Trek marathon on the SyFy channel, and the way he shimmied to Saturday Night Fever while buttering his toast one Sunday morning when he thought no one was looking. I remember him listening patiently to my catastrophic rendition of Chopin’s Minute Waltz on the piano. I couldn’t follow the metronome. Dad took it down, threw it in the garbage, and said to me, “The thing’s crap. You don’t need it.” We went and got ice cream afterwards.
My pillow is wet now and the ticking in my head returns. The rhythm is off. It’s the sound of a broken metronome.
The sound of a broken heart.


Anita said...

So beautiful! And sensorial, too! I had a feeling you would write like that, just after reading your posts. Very nice. Is this a YA? I can't remember if you'd ever said what genre you write.

cherie said...

Anita, my beautiful writer friend! Thank you! Yes, this is YA. This excerpt is one of my favorite MC moments. :)

Angie Sandro said...

Oh Cherie,
This is fantastic. You are such a talented writer. In just a few paragraphs, I've become competely invested in this character. She touched my heart.

cherie said...

Thanks, Angie! What a nice thing to say!

Remember Layla and James? This is that same story except for some major character and plot changes. I'm crossing my fingers the changes work this time.

Heather said...

Just came across your blog and had to become a follower after reading this. It really is so beautiful!

cherie said...

Heather, thank you! You are so sweet ;)
I really appreciate your kind words. It's just the boost I need to keep on writing.

Jennifer Snyder said...

Wow...you're talented! What a wonderful description of a broken heart and a painful loss. Touching, really.

cherie said...

Thanks Jennifer! And I appreciate you stopping by. See you over at QT, when I get a chance to visit. Lots going on today.

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Winter's Regret: What Might Have Been Winter's Regret: What Might Have Been
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