Yep, you heard me right. I'm back (temporarily, anyway) and IN LOVE!!

With this little guy:

This photo was taken about an hour after he was born, and though he doesn't quite look like that anymore, this is still one of my favorite photos of my baby boy. It reminds me of our very first meeting: those pinch-worthy plump cheeks, swollen eyes smeared with antibiotic ointment, and his messy black hair standing up in clumps and spikes. Gorgeousness! Despite being a little over 9 pounds (9 freaking pounds!!!), the delivery went well and was actually the easiest one yet. Imagine that.

The labor part, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. One that involved a dangerously high fever (mine), and a horrendous bacterial infection (still mine) that threatened my sweet little boy's health. Thanks to the excellent care of the doctors and nurses and the NICU team, we were able to weather the infection and go home after a couple of days at the hospital.

Sooooo...that's where I've been lately. Navigating the unpredictable waters of motherhood once again. I swear the longest uninterrupted sleep I've ever had was a whole hour. But I'm still in love, and I'm guessing will be in love forever. My kids--all three of them--bring so much wonder and love and joy to me. Every time I look at them I feel overwhelmingly grateful. I know I'm gushy and probably extra so because of the hormones, but it's true. *grabs Kleenex tissues*

Anyway, I'll probably continue to be sporadic with the blog. Thank you so much to all of you for your support and friendship and camaraderie. <3

Before I forget, a blogger friend interviewed me a few weeks ago and the post actually went live yesterday but I was walking around like a zombie I didn't get to it. So here's the link, if you care to read about my writerly odyssey:

I'm finally home from a one-week vacation! And I'm proud to say this pregnant mama survived a 6-hour drive (maybe even more than that with all the potty breaks we had to stop for) both going to our destination and coming back. Plus the baby did NOT come out during the vacation so hooray! hooray! I did make a deal with him, you know. You stay put in there, little mister, but after vacation is over you can come out anytime you want to and we will be ready for you. His first order from mommy and he obeyed! I think this kid is a keeper. :D

Anyway, I missed all of you. But at the same time, I was glad to be mostly unplugged during the entirety of our much needed R&R. I say mostly because apparently, I didn't have the willpower to stay totally unconnected (must check email...just a peek, I swear). We had a very pleasant time and the best part was I didn't feel overwhelmed. It was all about relaxation and family bonding. And I got to take naps, read two books and a friend's manuscript, and eat yummy, yummy food without cooking! WIN!

The kids' favorite activity was swimming. No surprise there, right? Actually, for both my 8-year-old and 4-year-old, this was a vast improvement from last year. They had taken swimming lessons prior to our vacation, and while my 8-year-old girl can now swim on her own, my 4-year-old boy only THINKS he can swim on his own. Last summer, they were both afraid to put their faces in the water or to stray too far from the shallow end. This summer, they were diving off to retrieve dive toys from the bottom of the pool.

That's all fine and dandy, especially when daddy's nearby to rescue them if they needed help. But my little boy is overly confident. He thinks he can swim without any help. No wait, he BELIEVES he can swim on his own. So all of a sudden, we had a slippery fish on our hands (well, I didn't go swimming, so poor daddy had to handle the boy by himself). Which meant, we had to watch him EVERY. DARN. SECOND. You couldn't take your eyes off him because he would just jump off without warning--arms scooping water wildly, legs kicking, his chin tilting briefly to breathe and then he'd go under again...only he couldn't keep it up for very long so he'd end up sinking in a matter of seconds. My boy knows the basics of swimming--unfortunately, what he's lacking is proper execution. But you know, he's only 4, and he's only had two summers of swimming lessons. He'll get it by next year. Or the year after that.

Still, I was both amazed and scared by his abundance of CONFIDENCE. Or was it FOOLISHNESS? Maybe it's a mixture of both. It kinda reminded me of my days as a newbie writer. We probably have similar stories to tell. You know, that first instance when you decided you wanted to write a book. There was probably a little apprehension, but that was quickly swallowed by enthusiasm. Oh yeah, this story idea is the most epic ever! Then you wrote with abandon--places and characters coming to life on your computer screen. Never mind that you started with a prologue that had nothing to do with the beginning of the story. Never mind that every dialogue tag was a synonym of "said" and duly accompanied by an adverb to reinforce what the character was feeling at the moment. Never mind that you were info-dumping left and right.

This was your story, and 150,000 words later, you knew you were a writer. No, you believed it. So much so that you immediately decided to send it off to a literary agent or a publishing house.

Okay, so this is a bit exaggerated. I didn't write 150K, nor did I send the first draft to any agent or publisher. It was the SECOND draft, and I mailed them a query letter, not the manuscript. Even I wasn't as stupid as that back then. Thankfully for me, I learned quickly. I only sent 3 queries before realizing my first manuscript was total crap. My query was crap, too. Heh.

Like my 4-year-old boy who fearlessly threw himself in the water, we writers need to have confidence, but not too much so we don't drown. We may know the basics, but it takes time and effort to master execution. And lots of drafts and revisions.

My boy will learn how to swim, and how to do it well. So what if it doesn't happen right away? As long as he continues to love the water, and keeps up with his lessons, I have no doubt he'll make it. After all, the very first day of vacation he came up to me and declared: Mommy, I'm going to be a great swimmer. I believe him.

And you can be a great writer, too. Just keep on writing.

Photo by ~ezs'