Well, here we are. A little bit older, a little bit wiser (perhaps?), and yet, still as excited as kids on Christmas day. A new year always usher in new hopes and dreams. A time for beginnings and reconciliations. A chance to forget past mistakes and forgive old grievances. And sometimes, having the new year come upon us simply remind us that life goes on...and on...even when we feel like dying inside.
Last month, a friend of mine lost her four-month-old baby to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). The whole community responded with an outpouring of love and services to this grief-stricken family. Then a couple of days ago, two weeks after the funeral, I met the mom at church. The look on her face is something I would never forget. It was the face of a crushed soul, of a heart that knew indescribable pain. I gave her a hug, squeezed her tight, and sadly, it was all I could do. I couldn't take away even a smidge of her pain. Whe I asked her if she was surviving, she answered: "Surviving? I suppose I am, if that's what it's called."
And that's when I saw it: a glimpse of her hope. Though surviving equated dying in her case, she was still hopeful. Would laughter once again find its way through her home? Yes, it would. Not now, and maybe not for awhile, but it'll be back for sure, and her heart will mend albeit slowly.
I'm in awe with the resilience and strength of the human spirit. How love and grief and happiness can buoy us up despite dire circumstances. That in this world we live in, we must experience sadness to truly appreciate joy, hardships to be grateful for blessings and small miracles.
Well, what does this reflection mean for me and for the new year? It's simply a reminder to myself (and I hope to all of you as well) to
and to truly LIVE each day with open hearts and with eyes wide open to see the beauty around us. Connect with people. Appreciate your loved ones. Play with your children. Feel and be alive.
I don't make resolutions. Rather, I make commitments. 2012 is bringing huge (but welcome) changes to my family in the form of a much anticipated little bun in the oven. :D We are excited and scared at the same time, but mostly excited and thrilled to have this baby enter our lives.
So there you have it--my not-so-big secret and certain reason why I've been off the web lately. I'm close to getting my energy back, and when I do, I expect I'll be hanging out with all of you soon.
I wish you all a wonderful 2012.